Hey you shit kickers,

We don’t have a name for this tour at all.  We were too lazy to think of one, and we don’t care about them at all.  We’re on Day Five of the tour right now, driving to Pittsburgh.  We’re gonna be late but we would never care about that.  Besides, it’s only half an hour, like whatever.

The first day of tour was in Worcester MA at The Raven.  Nothing too spectacular happened.  Some fans made us garlic cake that was pretty good.  Oh, and Chris got staples after taking a cymbal to the head and bleeding everywhere.  Punk rock.  Chris is punk.

The next day was in Wareham MA at 3065 live.  It was a good show.  I personally always love playing that venue.  The people that run it are so nice and accommodating and its always packed.  The show went by very smoothly.  I pulled over in the middle of the road and blocked traffic and wouldn’t let Mike back in the van.  There wasn’t a reason for that.  I just did it.

We headed away from home the next day after picking up our little man friend Ish who is doing merch of us on this tour.  He’s this little brown man that likes dub step and breakdowns.  He looks like that guy in that band, oh and he’s a DJ sometimes.  You’ve probably never met anyone like him.  But he’s good and makes fun of how old Mike is.

On the way to NJ, I think we all got a little restless.  I ended up with my head out the passenger window, screaming on the highway.  Mr. Chark started taking pictures of his false tooth in places it shouldn’t be.  I believe he’s starting a series like that.  It should be pretty good.  Ben stayed on his iPad the whole time.  I tried to make him laugh a lot.  I think I have a 50% success rate.

We played at The Fort in Jersey City that night.  The show was pretty good and we saw a lot of friendly faces that we haven’t seen in awhile.  I got drunk.  Ben and I got chinese food.  I think Mr. Chark and Ish did too.  It was okay.  After the show we ended up staying at an old friend of ours apartment.  We had a wonderful night, and we sang depressing lyrics to the tune of “House of the Rising Sun.”  Mostly about people who died and relatives who were prostitutes and stuff.

The next night was at The Loft in New Brunswick.  A pretty cool DIY punk rock venue.  Looked like an upstairs of a warehouse converted to an apartment/venue/practice space.  Everyone was super nice there.  We saw a lot of familiar faces at that venue too.  Many thanks go out to Big Viv, Ish’s girlfriend, and Rob from Those Mockingbirds for the food/beer.  It went to good use.  We ended up staying at the same apartment we did the night before because it was close.

We were all extremely tired from the night, but we had to stay up late again and listen to Ish gossip about which Suicide Girls were good looking and “curvalicious” and which ones weren’t.  Lots of screaming from two girls and Ish in the kitchen.  Eventually we got to sleep.

So now we’re on the way to Pittsburgh.  Oh also fuck that kid Andy from Bangarang’s.  If you don’t know, he didn’t tell us the show tomorrow was cancelled, we found out from a fan.  So fuck him.

Bye.

Joe Brown

Written by Catherine Powell