Australian rockers THEART kick off their U.S. tour in Las Vegas, N.V. with Faster Pussycat, and check in with Naked to let us know that, yes, they’re still alive, and yes, this shit is about to get crazy.

Jordan McDonald:

Just read my last update and feel the time is nigh for a little shake up. Rather than my usual ‘adjective heavy, paint a picture, lingual wankery’ writing style I’m gonna try something a little different.

Houston; amazing boots, obesity, curly fries with ranch, if you’re 30 you’re likely to have grandkids.

Dallas; southern grilled heavy metal party vibe, Dimebag pride, blacktooth grins (Seagrams or Crown Royal / splash of coke), my favourite stop yet, drink for drink with Faster Pussycat’s Chad (I thought I was bad….), woke covered in mud and what may be a broken toe (big toe, left foot. Big toe right foot is plagued by gout so FYI I’m walking like a complete spaz ATM) San Antonio; quaint yet grand, the Alamo, shared bill with Y&T, first shower in a few days.

Corpus Christi; redneck hospitality, homesmoked redneck BBQ, brutal footage of our feast being slaughtered (appetizing), great people, a little scary though.

New Orleans; day off so we went in with a deathwish, absinthe, stupid drugs, cool voodoo stores, went lookin’ for trouble, and boy did I find her.

Atlanta; hipsters, jocks, beautiful girls, thriving beer scene (Stillwater Brewery kicks ass!), best rider yet.

Daytona, Florida; biker rally, outdoor show, custom motorcycles, American Wall of Death (look it up), beards, naked girls (they must’ve been freezing), fights, jalapeño poppers, shit beer, good times.

Destin; my birthday (March 14), Arrogant Bastard Ale for breakfast, barely legal spring break nudity, first swim since Australia, shared bill with Great White (their pyro was a little scary, someone should warn them about that), my solo’s finally starting to feel good.

Jacksonville; Danny’s birthday (Faster Pussycat bass ruler), piscean pride, got him a XXX truckstop DVD pack (he got me a truckstop can of Fosters. Asshole!), my band rules, solo feels good, sold heaps of merch (thank fuck. We gotta eat too ya know!)

4:06 am. Headed to Fort Lauderdale. Chat soon lover.

Written by Catherine Powell