Awaken the Empire’s Damien Lawson has a few things in mind for his CD collection — none of which involve listening.

Damien Lawson: Between my girlfriend Romina and I, we easily have a collection of over 2000 CDs… Most of which need to be transferred onto my cheese grater of a computer, and then thrown into a microwave for a non-lethal, mini fireworks extravaganza. We’ll get lawn chairs, wear american flag hats, and eat a bucket of KFC. It’s gonna be the party of the century. You will read about it nowhere…. Still, as much as I love fireworks, there are definitely some CDs that will go nowhere near my personal food cooking robot. For those chosen few, we will build an airtight, walk in vault/panic room where we will proudly display the most prized pieces in our collection… All the demo’s from past failed bands I’ve been in: Vaulted. CDs of friends bands and that amazing band I saw that one time and could never get again: Vaulted. Import Nirvana singles and interview discs: Super Vaulted with Imperial Guards…and a Droideka.

Hmmm… When I started this comprehensive plan for ultimate CD collection safety, I was thinking there would be a ton of those little plastic discs that I would want to cherish forever… That’s the thing about CD’s, they just don’t have the collectible magnetism of vinyl. Maybe it’s that we can’t physically see how they work… There are no grooves, and you rarely even see it actually spinning… you just throw it in a machine and pray for little to no skipping… It’s not sexy. It’s like the girl (or guy…whatever your into. I don’t judge) that is cute and gets the job done, but there’s no intimacy… no hope for longevity… Wait… What are we talking about? Oooooh Fireworks… Gotta go. <3

Written by Catherine Powell